Today’s Real Mom Dilemma comes from Mama M and I know it is one alot of moms face – especially new moms. No one really tells you how/when you should get your little one on a schedule and what that schedule should be. Sure, there are countless books on the subject and your Pediatrician may offer some advice but it is really uncharted territory or at least it was for me and Mama M. I will let Mama M dive into her situation below but this is another one of those dilemmas in which there is no right or wrong answer as all babies are different and have different needs. If you are new to The Wise Baby, Real Mom Dilemmas are real problems that come from real moms. We post them here in hopes that our other mom readers can lend their advice and experience to help another mom out. Be sure to leave a comment on this post with your advice, experience or even issues of your own. If you have a dilemma you’d like to see featured, send it to me here (we never use real names!).
From Mama M… Hey Wise Moms, I am in need of some advice! I have an almost seven month old little boy, Dylan. Dylan has been a so called “easy baby”. He has always bee a good sleeper, good eater and generally not very fussy. I am a stay at home mom and have known it is important to get him on a schedule but I find myself with a seven month old not on a true day-time schedule. Night-time we have down pat – bath time, bottle, bed time and he sleeps through the night (12+ hours) most nights.
Day time = I feel like a failure! He definitely is wanting 2-3 naps a a day. One morning (9:30-10am), afternoon (1:00-1:30pm) and early evening (4:30-ish but only sometimes does he is not tired and content playing or just hanging out). I always put him down when he is tired/fussy but sometimes he sleeps for two hours sometimes only 30 minutes. Depending on the day we may run errands and he may sleep in the car or stroller and then not go down when we get home. I try to stay home around the “scheduled” times I mentioned above so he can get good naps but sometimes he doesn’t get the good nap or we have to be out and about at those times. I feel like I am cheating Dylan but not having him on some sort of set schedule but he is still a happy, easy baby so I am not sure if what I am doing is okay?
I guess my dilemma is – what do other moms do? I have read about parent and baby led schedules and I think some sort of hybrid sounds most realistic. I don’t want to be the kind of mom that has to pass on playdates and activities because of nap time but maybe that is what I should do? Any advice, tips or experiences would be really helpful to me! I just want to do what is best for Dylan and seem to be sort of at a loss for a good day time routine!
Thanks so much for listening and responding!
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As I am reading this dilemma, this is my very same situation except my son is just about six months old and wakes once a night to nurse. I’m not sure what to do either. Sorry that’s not helpful but you are not alone!
Christina, I was right there with you – it is nice to know we aren’t alone! I think Alison offers some great advice below and I have tried to get Eloise on at least a two nap a day schedule but there definitely some days where it just doesn’t work out for her to go down at the same time everyday. My advice would be to do your best to set up a routine that with if it is not at the same time everyday it is okay but at least your son will have a routine (or somewhat if you are like me!) down. xo
I’m in the same boat with a six and a half month old— except, he usually wakes up twice a night to nurse… I guess we could say that he’s just not consistent at all at night. Sometimes, he does a six+ hour stretch, and others (like last night) he was up every three hours and would not stay asleep. I’ll take any advice y’all can share!:)
Hey Lauren, I have found that Eloise sleeps much better at night when she takes good naps during the day. I know it sounds counter intuitive but it really is true (and verified by my Pediatrician). That being said, it took Eloise until about now (6 months) to really start sleeping through the night and not waking up for feedings. I know, we hear of all thee babies sleeping 12+hours at 2 months but that wasn’t true for me even when she was taking decent naps. My advice would maybe to start a consistent routine with naps and hopefully that translated into better night time sleep too? xo
Hey Mama J and ladies, I am not sure I have all the answers but experienced some of the same things you are all saying. My daughter who is now 18 months was also a good baby but struggled with daytime naps. First, I never pushed her to give up her nighttime feeding. Ultimately she stopped waking up around 7 months and started sleeping through the night. I let her make the call for a few reasons. One, because I am not a fan of the cry it out idea, two, if she was hungry I wanted her to eat and three, she was all business – ate and right back to sleep. I can see why parents that have babies that wake up ready to hang out and are up for hours want them to give up their feedings but it wasn’t an issue for me.
Second, regarding the daytime. I ultimately had to adjust our schedule for the nap schedule. Meaning I had to decline invitations and find other time outside of naptime to run errands. Of course, there were always exceptions and days where it wasn’t possible but for the most part I made naps the priority (without being a crazy person and not having a social life). I would try to schedule playdates, swim lessons, music classes immediately after naptime so we would be finished by the next nap time. I would run errands right after naptime to try to avoid her falling asleep in the car (even though sometimes she did) – you get the idea!
The weekends were the biggest challenge. Sometimes we would bring our daughter into our bed for some late morning snuggle time and she would end up falling back asleep and sort of throwing her schedule off but we would just go with it and know that sometime throughout the day she needed to get her two good naps in. By good naps I mean in her crib, sleeping for at least an hour but hopefully more.
What I realized is that somedays she wanted to sleep two hours other its was shorter but no matter what I kept her in her crib for an hour. I obviously made sure she was content and sometimes she just laid in there an babbled our watched her crib soother for 30 minutes after a short nap but I was okay with that. She usually ended up falling back asleep even if she seemed wide eyed and ready to wake up when I initially went in.
Bottom line, try to schedule your activities around nap times but don’t try to make yourself live by it – in today’s world it is impossible and you end up being too hard on yourself! Know that if you miss a nap or are late for a nap that your little one still needs that sleep. If your baby is used to going with the flow it will serve you all well!
Hope this helps!
Alison, thank you SO SO much for your wonderful insight! Your experience and advice is so helpful and very much appreciated! xo
Thanks Lindsey and Allison— all of the advice is so helpful. Just hearing tips and tricks are so nice:) I worry about the nighttime feedings because I feel like I hear stories from other mom’s or blogs that talk about them still wanting to wake up when they’re older to eat, when it’s definitely not needed. Luke is all business too– usually! Thanks y’all!