It has been awhile since we have had a Real Mom Dilemma and this one is a good one! It is funny because, I was just talking to a friend about this yesterday. Mama E is in a dilemma that many of us may be in or find ourselves in one of these days. I think she has alot of great points and I am hopeful know that some of you Wise mamas can give her some advice! If you are new to The Wise Baby, Real Mom Dilemmas are real problems that come from real moms. We post them here in hopes that our other mom readers can lend their advice and experience to help another mom out. Be sure to leave a comment on this post with your advice, experience or even issues of your own. If you have a dilemma you’d like to see featured, send it to me here (we never use real names!).
Hi there, I am Mama “E”, mama to a beautiful and busy, thirteen month old boy, Ross. I just recentley found out that baby #2 is on the way! My husband and I are over the moon. Without going all TMI on everyone it is a surprise but not that much of a surprise. We are trying without trying – you know how that goes. Anyway, here is my dilemma:
We live in a sunny, beautiful and quaint two bedroom home in California that is approximately 2,000 SF. I love our house and for reasons other than my love we cannot and will not be moving before baby #2 arrives. Again, not to be TMI but the reasons are mostly financial in that two years ago we did extensive renovations to this home and can’t move/sell without taking a loss. Another bonus, my parents are less than two miles away! We currently use every inch of our house although Ross’ room is a good size (14′ x 16′). The new baby will be in our room for the first 3-4 months in a bassinet but after that – WHAT DO I DO?!? Haha, sorry of the all caps but I am sort of paniacking about this – how do a +/-22 month old and 3 month old share a room?!? My other more detailed questions/thoughts:
- How do I handle nap time?
- Do I get two cribs? OR would I move Ross to a big boy bed?
- Will the two kiddos just wake each other up all night long?!?
- Should I leave the new baby in our room until 4 – 6 months or until he/she is sleeping through the night consistently? (this seems like a yes to me).
- Should I turn my dining room into a second bedroom (I really don’t want to do this as our layout is very open concept so I don’t really even know if this is possible without major construction!)
I realize I have some time (approximately 6 months) but I need to hear how other moms have handled such a situation to put my mind at ease. I know, you all are probably saying – “well what were you thinking when you decided to have another baby?”. And my answer is, space was the lease of my concerns, I am in my late 30′s and we didn’t want to put off expanding our family because of space. I know people live in a lot less space than we do with 2 – 3 kids (hello New Yorkers – speak up!).
I sincerely appreciate any advice and am open to all suggestions – even turning my dining room into a second bedroom! Thanks Wise Moms!If you have a Real Mom Dilemma you would like to see posted, email us. Check out our past Real Mom Dilemma’s for some real life problems with real life answers.
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Hi Mama E, I think you are right on with leaving your soon-to-be little one in your room until they reliable sleep through the night. Waiting to move them into Ross’ room will definitely help with the waking each other up at night thing. Personally, I would get another crib unless you plan to move Ross before the little one comes. You dont want to spring too many changes on him when your little one comes. My last piece of advice would be don’t stress! It will be fine and fun for your little ones!
Thanks for asking this Mama E. I am in a very similar situation. 15 month old with a other due in 2 months. Would love to hear what has worked for others!
I agree that waiting until the baby is STTN to move him/her is a good idea! I also agree that unless you plan to move Ross before hand, you will need another crib.
As far as nap times…what about having Ross nap on your bed so baby has a quiet place to sleep? I’ve done that with my girls that share a room…they are older, but had way too much fun to nap!
I was worried that my girls would just play all night, but they did much better than I expected. My oldest actually sleeps better now because she’s not all by herself at night. You will have your nights where it will seem like maybe it wasn’t a good idea, but it will all work out in the end. I bet big brother will be more than happy to share his room with the baby. Good luck & congratulations!
Hi Mama E, I was in this very same situation about a year ago. My older daughter’s (18 months at the time my younger daughter was born) room was tiny though (10′ x 12′). Here is what I did:
- my younger daughter slept in our room until 5 months when she was consistently sleeping through the night.
- at this point my older daughter was 23 months and still in her crib. I moved my younger daughter in her room and both were in cribs.
- I made this fun for my older daughter to have her little sister move in her room. Even before my second daughter was born, we got new cribs and set up my younger daughters crib, we talked about how her sister would move in her room after she was born and “a good sleeper like her”. My older daughter had fun putting her stuffed animals and toys in the crib in anticipation of her little sisters arrival.
There are nights it was/is tough. Teething, sickness, bad dreams, etc all can cause some raucous in the room but for the most part it works just fine. You just have to be ready to deal with everyone waking up!
As far as moving your older one into a crib I wouldn’t until you absolutely feel he is ready. It is MUCH easier having two in a crib. My older daughter is about 2 1/2 and we are planning to move her into a big girl bed in a few months. By now, she is so used to having her sister in her room I think the transition will go as smoothly as it can. Or at least I hope!
Lastly, in respect to layout of the nursery, since we had a smaller room I had to get two new cribs. The crib I choose for my older daughter was beautiful and on the bulkier side. Sure it was the standard crib size but it just took up too much space visually to make sense to me. So we sold it on craigslist and bought two Babyletto cribs (under $400). The cribs also have a drawer underneath which is great for storage! I was able to use a larger dresser from a family member as a changing table/dresser combo and it works great.
I hope this helps. Just remember it is totally doable. My husband and I live in a big, expensive city and a 2 bedroom place is probably the biggest we will ever have and you know what? It works great for our family! Good luck!
Mama E,
Our situation is slightly different, but I totally relate.
We have a 3 month old and a 14 year old (girl and boy). Our daughter is with us full time and her brother is part time. They share a room. Our home is small (2 BR duplex) and their room is probably 10×10. We make it work with creativity that may not apply to your situation, but might still inspire a bit.
In the beginning, our daughter slept in our room while her older brother had the room to himself. It helped a lot with middle-of-the-night feedings and awakenings. Plus, it gave him time to get adjusted to his sister.
We have a tall dresser for her stuff and a smaller one for his (as he’s only here part time). His bed is a loft bed. I highly, highly recommend this if it would help you down the road with room sharing. His dresser is under his bed. Under his bed are also a glider, a storage ottoman with toys, and some work stuff for the husband in a box or two. Yes, it works for us.
Under the crib is a ton of storage, and we use the bars of the loft bed as place to hang developmental toys for our daughter. She loves it while she glides with us!
We do our best to give 1:1 time to each, but also to gently emphasize family with them. This is the best home for us at this time, and it’s filled with love. All of us are safe and that matters immensely, too.
Oh, and with all of the stuff in the room, there’s plenty of floor space (even in a 10×10 room) for the kids to play and when they’re not, for me to work out. Yes, the room doubles as our workout room and once housed one of my hub’s bikes on his trainer.
Best of Luck!